I don’t care if my butthole color offends anyone. You read that correctly. Bleaching one’s butthole, aka spinchter, is now a thing.
Now, not only do we have to groom ourselves meticulously in our nether regions but we also are being pressured to bleach our anuses. Well, I guess we don’t have to. Because I’m not going to. There is no beauty standard or ideal worth much pain or effort for me at this point in my life. Much less a sudden standard about my butthole color.
I am so glad you asked. Butthole bleaching is the process of dying your asshole so it is lighter than the color you were born with. …
I was at dinner with a group of friends recently, and I listened enviously to my newly divorced friend ramble on about her new lust-filled lover. I stifled my jealousy at the attention, the desire, and hot sex that she was describing. I washed back another corndog with a chilled white wine.
She had always been exotic looking and gorgeous and never had been one to have to try and work to get attention.
Act like you need him to accomplish anything. From opening the box of toothpaste to picking out your clothes, you need to make sure you are a complete and utter failure without him around. Men need to feel as if humanity would be doomed without them. …
Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can sometimes hurt the deepest. Abuse is not always physical. Sometimes the emotional damage inflicted upon someone can take years of therapy and healing to undo.
I have always considered myself to be a strong, independent, and educated woman. So, no one was more shocked than I was when I became a victim of emotional and physical abuse. Abuse that was handed out so frequently, yet so slowly, that I morphed into a completely different person, little by little, without noticing.
It happened so extremely slowly. I was so blind to it that I actually didn’t notice for a year or two that it was even happening at all. It happened so sneakily and with stealth. It’s actually terrifying to me now how quickly he was able to change who I was as a person. …
Articles are meant to share information, tips, and opinions. This one is important to my heart. It is a list of the items I think should be made to be common sense knowledge at a minimum.
Teach it in school, teach it at home, blare it from loudspeakers in North Korea, and replace all media ads with it. I don’t anyone to be able to claim ignorance anymore. We are all put on this Earth for a reason and I know what mine is.
Best case scenario, this would become criminal activity. I have about 18 laws I will recommend we take off the books if we can have these in their stead. …
Stress is the biggest serial killer this world has ever seen. Or at least since that fat serial killer clown died.
Stress is the underlying cause of many diseases, conditions and violent acts. In my opinion, we need to start putting more emphasis on controlling stress and less on cleaning up stress’ aftermath. With that revolutionary approach in mind, I made a list of the things that help me deal with my extreme stress level. I have six kids in addition to my full-time job so I am the human version of stress. …
My first communication from a departed loved one came to me when I was just seven years old. At the time, I didn’t understand it and I chalked it up to being a nightmare.
I was just seven years old when I experienced the death of my beloved Grandmother. She was my father’s mother, my only local grandparent, and she adored me because I was the baby of the family. And, even then, I obviously had the best personality of the whole bunch to boot.
My grandmother’s funeral was not only my first funeral, but also my first experience with death. All in one fell swoop. It was also my first time seeing a cadaver. I call it that, because now I know that the body is only a shell once a soul leaves it. …
Tiddly bits are not to be used in lieu of brainpower. If you aren’t sure what a tiddly bit is, don’t panic because you are not alone. I coined that phrase many years ago because I didn’t want to explain private parts by their medical names nor their street names. I needed to create my own verbiage. So with that being said, a tiddly bit is a universal term for any of the body parts considered to be gender insinuating. Formerly known as proof of gender or sex on the birth certificate. More commonly known as t**s, a**, d**k, etc.
I know it is considered the norm by today’s standards in the Real Estate Agent profession, but I don’t have to use my sexuality to be successful in real estate. …
I have mixed emotions about this, much like most things I think about. On one hand, I think we are only as old as we feel and should act however we want to. On the other hand, I want to do what I want to, but I want a few men, aka the ones I will be referencing, to not be weird and creepy so a few of my quality girls can find the one that seems intent on locating. What can I say? I’m a woman and an enigma. I never had said and never will say that women are not complicated. Most extremely advanced, complex items are. Note: I did not say enema. …
I don’t pray
But I know you hear my voice
When I call for you in the direction of the heavens
I don’t pray
But I plead for you to hear my call
And light the way for me
During my times of darkness
I don’t pray
But I can feel you
Alive still in the recesses of my heart
Oh I won’t pray
I keep going
I raise my sight to the sky
I don’t pray
I look for you
As a face in the cloud
As a whisper in my ear
Your imprint fades
Though transcending, your memory lives…
My dog broke my couch and then took a nap immediately. I could’ve gotten mad, but I didn’t. My animals, all of them, can get away with anything in my eyes. My husband doesn’t agree with me on this. I spoil the animals and he spoils the children. My animals are already going to live with me the rest of my life. So will my kids if he doesn’t stop spoiling them and I’m just not prepared for that in my golden years. They have put me through too much already.
As far as my pets go, I have two amazing dogs that I adore immensely. Both are mutts and rescue dogs. But in reality, I’m the one who got saved. …