We have all done those quizzes on buzzfeed. Don’t even lie about it. The ones where you take a three or four question quiz to find out what kind of color you are or what number you are or who you are in animal form. For those of you that are closet quiz takers, I am not here to out you or embarrass you. This is way more common than you think it is. I am here because I deserve to be in charge of those quizzes. I have a brain full of untapped quiz material that will actually bring meaning to your life.
The last BuzzFeed quiz I took told me that I was a jaguar on the outside and a fluffy little kitten sitting in a cup on the inside. While this may be extremely accurate, that was not the information I was looking to find out. But I did still update my resume to include that fact along with the results showing that I am the color red, a pineapple pizza and was Al Capone in a former life. There is absolutely no way that BuzzFeed could say no to my proposition to run their whole business but primarily the quiz department after seeing these items.
Last week, I submitted my seriously impressive resume with some sample quizzes to BuzzFeed and it’s only a matter of time before I am famous and extremely, extremely rich. I picked a few to share with you out of the 700 that I sent.
1. Take this quiz to find out if you are as dumb as your parents say you are!
2. Take this quiz to find out why your husband hates you!
3. What sexually transmitted disease are you? The answer is always Herpes.
4. Are You Gold digger or Just a hoe?
5. Which Jonas brother do you smell like?
6. Take this quiz to find out if you like carrots.
7. Find if your personality is more suited for dragon fighting or yoga championships!
8. Find out which reptile your ex is.
9. Answer only three questions to find out the rest of your entire life in essay format.
10. Do you need therapy or do you just need alcohol? Pick one of these three pictures to find out.
I’m the brains of the operation so obviously the prolific ideas are my strong point. I will rely on BuzzFeed to provide the super complicated algorithms to get the correct answers to generate.
I hope you all look out for me because soon I’m going to be famous. And not just because I’m going to rule Buzzfeed. But also because I took a quiz that said I was going to be famous and married to Will Ferrell within five years. I have not told my husband yet.
Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash